7 Habits Of Highly Effective People by Stephen R . covey
Habit is defined as intersection of Knowledge,skill & desire
7 habits are habits of effectiveness- Effectiveness lied in the balance- P/PC balance- P means production of desired results & PC means production capability, the ability or assets that produces golden eggs.
A new level of thinking
The Inside-Out approach says that Private Victories precede Public Victories , that making and keeping promises to ourselves precedes making and keeping promises to others. It says it is futile to put personality ahead of character, to try to improve relationships with others before improving ourselves.
outside-in paradigm is unhappy people who feel victimized , who focus on the weaknesses of other people and the circumstances they feel are responsible for their own stagnant situation.
7 key principles
Habit 1 — Be proactive
Our decision is often dependent on relation between stimulus and response.
Stimulus is -Things we hear, we see,we smell, we feel & response- is our ability to decide,act on particular stimulus.
Pro-active decision making involves self-awareness,imagination, conscience- deep inner awareness of right & wrong & independent will- our ability to act without external influences.
The behavior of proactive people is a product of their own conscious choice, based on values rather than product of their conditions , based on feeling.
Circle of Influence
Proactive people — focus on the circle of influence. The nature of their energy is positive, enlarging & magnifying. They are value-driven, they read reality ,& they know what is needed.
Mistakes & consequences
For those who filled with regrets about past, they must understand we cant undo past,we have to move beyond circle of concern .
But how?
A proactive approach is to acknowledge, correct, and learn from it. Work on things you have control over.
If we acknowledge a mistake, but not correct and learn from it, we will try to self deceive, self- justify the situation, get into blame game & accusing mode which will create further deep injury to self.
Commitments
The commitments we make to ourselves & to others, & our integrity to those commitments is the essence & clearest manifestation of our proactivity.
Our commitments come from a balance of 3- knowledge, skill & desire- all within our control
Habit 2- Begin With End In Mind
It means start with clear understanding of our destination.
It is incredibly easy to get caught up in activity trap, in the busy-ness of life to work harder & harder to climb the ladder only to realize that ladder is leaning against the wrong wall & every step we take just get us to the wrong place faster.
All Things are created twice
There is a mental or first creation & physical creation.
For eg when we construct our home, we work on ideas, create blueprint of house 1st, then we reduce to the construction plan.All this done before the earth is touched. & when we are fully convinced we proceed towards physical creation.
Carpenters rule “Measure twice ,cut once”
By Design or default
If we don’t garner inner strength, we will be overpowered by others due to our deep vulnerabilities, our deep dependency on others & our needs for acceptance & love from others.
But we can take control of ourselves by only focus on circle on influence- our capacity of self-awareness, imagination & conscience enable us to strengthen our mental strength.
Personal mission statement-
It means writing down — what you want to be , how you are going to achieve it and what are the principles that you admire most.
A mission statement is not something you write overnight. It takes deep introspection,careful analysis,thoughtful expression & many rewrites to produce in final form
With a mission statement, We don’t need to listen to others parameters of success, we dont need to stereotype & categorize everything & everybody in order to accomodate reality.
Working on the circle of influence gives-
Security- your sense of worth,your identity,personal strength.
Guidance- Your sense of directions in life
Wisdom- Your perspective on life. Your understanding of how world works, & how various parts & principles apply & relate to each other.
Power- The faculty or capacity to act
Visualise & affirmation
Your vision & values must align with task at hand & your mission statement.
Roles & goals
Identify the roles that you want to be in which gives balance & harmony & think about long term goals you want to accomplish in each of these roles.
Roles & goals gives structure & organized direction to your personal mission.
Habit -3 Put First Things First
“Things which matter most must not be at the mercy of things which matter least”-Goethe
We usually react to urgent matters- but we must focus on quadrant 2 -important things but not urgent because it requires more planning, more initiative , more proactivity.
We fail to follow 2nd quadrant as we
1-fail to prioritize.
2-our inability or desire to organize towards priority.
3 our lack of discipline to execute.
To say “yes “ to important quadrant 2 priorities, we must learn to say “no” to other activities,apparently urgent things.
Effective tool is- Prioritize on weekly Basis. The Key is not to prioritize whats on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.
How to do it?
1 Roles- key roles you want to be in
2 Goals-what you want to accomplish in those roles?
3 Plan- plan weekly to achieve these goals
4 Daily adapting
5Learn to delegate- Effectively delegating to others is the most powerful high leverage activity.
a)Gofer delegation- Ineffective. It means — go for that,go for this,do this,do that & tell me when it is done.
b)Steward Delegation- focused on results instead of method. It gives people the choice of methods & makes them responsible for results.Its 5 principles
1- Desired Results
2Guidelines-identify parameter within which people should work
3Resources- identify human,technical,financial,organizational resources
4Accountability-set up the standards & time deadlines
5 consequences- what will happen when you achieve or fail to achieve the results.
Habit 4- Think Win/win
win/win is a frame of mind that is always for mutual benefit. With a win/win solution, all parties feel good about the decision & feel committed to the action plan. Win/win sees life as co-operative , not a competitive arena.
5 dimensions of win/win
1- character- involves
a) Integrity
b) maturity- finding a midway path to achieve goals of both the party
c)abundance mentality- instead of thinking about snatching others pie, think about how we can expand pie length, how we create more opportunities in a new way. Avoid zero-sum game
2 Relationship involves
a) trust- without trust, we lack credibility for open, mutual learning & communication & real creativity.
b)Emotional bank account- we deeply respect each other. We are focussed on issues, not on personalities or positions.
3 Agreement- which depends on steward delegation.
4System- Win/win can only survive when the system supports it. It cannot survive on a system of competition, it needs a system of cooperation.
5 Process-
a)See the problem from another point of view
b)Identify the key issues & concerns.
c)Determine fully acceptable solutions
d)Identify possible new options to achieve those results
Habit 5- Seek first to understand, than to be understood
Empathic Listening- Listening with intent to understand. You try to see the problem from their frame of reference. You see the world,the way they see the world.
In empathic Listening, as you rephrase content and reflect feeling, you give him psychological air. You also help him work through his own thoughts and feelings.
As he grows in his confidence to really listen and understand, the barrier between what’s going on inside him and what’s actually being communicated to you disappears. . He begins to trust you with his innermost tender feelings and thoughts.
Diagnose before you prescribe
First understand the situation , underlying problem , its causes, various changes that are happening & then prescribe the solution.
Four Autobiographical Responses
we tend to respond in one of four ways. We
evaluate — we either agree or disagree;
we probe — we ask questions from our own frame of reference;
we advise — we give counsel based on our own experience; or
we interpret — we try to figure people out, to explain their motives, their behavior, based on our own motives and behavior.
Habit 6- Synergize
synergy is the highest activity in all life — the true test and manifestation of all the other habits put together.
Simply defined, it means that the whole is greater than the sum of its
parts.
In an interdependent situation, synergy is particularly powerful in dealing with negative
forces(Restraining force) that work against growth and change(Driving Force)
Driving forces generally are positive, reasonable, logical, conscious, and economic. In juxtaposition, restraining forces are often negative, emotional, illogical, unconscious, and social/psychological.
when you introduce synergy. You unfreeze restraining force, loosen them up, and create new insights that actually transform those restraining forcesinto driving ones.
a great deal of synergy is within your Circle of Influence.
You can be synergistic within yourself even in the midst of a very adversarial environment. You don’t have to take insults personally. You can sidestep negative energy; you can look for the good in others and utilize that good, as different as it may be, to improve your point of view and to enlarge your perspective.
You can value the difference in other people. When someone disagrees with you, you can say, “Good! You see it differently.” You don’t have to agree with them; you can simply affirm them. And you can seek to understand
Habit 7- Sharpen The Saw
It means exercising 4 dimensions of nature-
1- Physical- Exercise, nutrition, stress Management
A good exercise programme provides endurance,flexibility & strength
All the benefit of the exercise comes at the very end.And that doesn’t happen until the muscle fiber ruptures and the nerve fiber registers the pain. Then nature overcompensates and within 48 hours, the fiber is made stronger.
The same principle that works with emotional muscles as well,
such as patience. When you exercise your patience beyond your past limits, the emotional fiber is broken, nature overcompensates, and next time the fiber is stronger.
As you increase your body’s ability to do more demanding things, you’ll find your normal activities much more comfortable and pleasant.
2 Spiritual- It is your core, commitment to your value system. It is very private area of life. It draws upon the sources that inspire & uplift you.
It can be improved by — mindfulness, immersion in art,great literature or great music,spending time with nature.
In our daily spiritual renewal, we can visualize and “live out” the events of the day in harmony with those values.
“The greatest battles of life are fought out dailyin the silent chambers of the soul.”- By Religious leader David O. McKay If you win the battles there, if you settle the issues that inwardly conflict, you feel a sense of peace, a sense of knowing what you’re about.
3 Mental Dimension
Expand your Mind on a regular basis by reading good literature,
Writing is another powerful way to sharpen the mental saw. Keeping a journal of our thoughts, experiences, insights, and learnings promotes mental clarity, exactness, and context. Writing good letters — communicating on the deeper level of thoughts, feelings affect our ability to think clearly, reason accurately, and to be understood effectively.
Organizing and planning represent other forms of mental renewal . It’s exercising the visualizing, imagining power of your mind to see the end from the beginning and to see the entire journey, at least in principles, if not in steps.
4 The Social/Emotional Dimension
Where does intrinsic security come from? .
It comes from within. It comes from accurate paradigms and correct principles deep in our own mind and heart. It comes from Inside-Out congruence, from living a life of integrity in which our daily habits reflect our deepest values.
a long, healthy, and happy life is the result of making contributions, of having meaningful projects that are personally exciting and contribute to and bless the lives of other.
Upward Spiral
